Sarah-Jayne Johnson


Sarah-Jayne Johnson has studied creative writing at Anglia Ruskin University and City, University of London. Who Would Design a Waste Disposal System through a Pleasure Park? is her first full-length play. She lives in London and is a member of her local writers group, Enfield Writers Workshop. You can read her flash fiction piece, Life Hole, in the group’s November 2020 newsletter.


Sophia, a 30-year-old woman is in recovery after life-changing surgery, and keeps her stoma and colostomy bag a secret, but is tryng to recapture the confidence of her teenage years with her best friend, Milly.

On a big night out, Milly is back to her hurtful ways. Disillusioned, Sophia gives Milly a choice: build a healthier friendship or it’s over. Milly leaves alone. Letting go of the past, Sophia allows new friend Amy to help with her split colostomy bag.

Who Would Design a Waste Disposal System through a Pleasure Park?

Script Extract

This extract from Act 2 follows on from Sophia and Amy entering the pub toilets to find Milly having sex with a guy, Amos (who Sophia dated and hoped to rekindle a flame with), in one of the cubicles.

AMY:               Why did you lie? Milly.

MILLY:             You’ve changed.

AMY:               Thankfully.

MILLY:             Don’t be. It wasn’t a compliment.

AMY:               Still took it as one.

MILLY:             I take it back.

AMY:               There are no takesies backsies.

MILLY:             Don’t be a bitch.

AMY:               Looked at yourself lately?

MILLY:             I’m looking mighty fine.

SOPHIA:           Can we leave it?

MILLY:             Stay out of it Sophs. At least I know how to get some.

AMY:               It’s not a badge of honour – shagging anything that moves.

MILLY:             I’m in touch with my body. I know how to use it for pleasure

SOPHIA:           Never thought /Amos would be one of them

AMY:               /I don’t need to fuck everything I meet to love my body.

MILLY:             We’ve all got the same basic needs. Even Sophs.

SOPHIA:           (quietly) Hey! I have urges.

MILLY:             You really need to sort out your attitude.

AMY:               I’m not the problem.

SOPHIA:           She’s just trying to help you. Like she helps me.

MILLY:             Sort yourself out.

AMY:               You find this stuff helpful?

SOPHIA:           It helps me to grow…

MILLY:             That’s right. I know how to be a good friend. Unlike you two.

SOPHIA:           Bit mean. I try to help you too.

MILLY:             I know you try but you miss the mark. Every time.

SOPHIA:           At least I stay away from your guys…

AMY:               You really are/ as slutty and as… as you have ever been.

MILLY:             /Takes one to know one.

AMY:               How many guys have you fucked this week?


One? Two?


Fifteen? Twenty?

MILLY:             At least I don’t have to fuck myself.

AMY:               Better than being a slut, letting anything enter…

MILLY:             Fingers worn out?

AMY:               Come here, my name is Milly, free to enter…

MILLY:             bet you’ve practically sanded your clit away

AMY:               multiple visits/ encouraged.

SOPHIA:           /Can we stop talking about sex now?

AMY:               Ever make it to a bed?

SOPHIA:           Please?

AMY:               or is it only ever up against a filthy toilet wall…

MILLY:             It’s healthy.

SOPHIA:           so is masturbation… for… Urges

AMY:               As long as she can drop her knickers she’s a goer. Mills is all about filth.

SOPHIA:           You do love a bit of filth, Mills.

MILLY:             You Judas, Sophs.

SOPHIA:           Me? Judas? I’m just saying it as it is. Like you do.

MILLY:             After all the times I’ve tried to help you

SOPHIA:           I’m being honest about who you are. Come on, Mills. Sex, multiple partners, in public places. It’s all you.

MILLY:             It’s healthy. Sex.

SOPHA:            You are a self-proclaimed slut.

MILLY:             I never use that word.

SOPHIA:           You have. I’m sure /I’ve heard

MILLY:             /You don’t go around telling people they are… That.

AMY:               You’ve called people that.

MILLY:             No. I’ve never used that—

AMY:               I’ve heard you. Dawn…

MILLY:             You know nothing

AMY:               Kerry…

MILLY:             I’m out of—

AMY:               and Sophia.

SOPHIA:           Seriously?

MILLY:             You’ve got no idea who I am.

AMY:               I know /exactly who you are.

SOPHIA:           /We’ve known each other for so long

MILLY:             No idea.

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