Sarah-Jayne Johnson has studied creative writing at Anglia Ruskin University and City, University of London. Who Would Design a Waste Disposal System through a Pleasure Park? is her first full-length play. She lives in London and is a member of her local writers group, Enfield Writers Workshop. You can read her flash fiction piece, Life Hole, in the group’s November 2020 newsletter.
Sophia, a 30-year-old woman is in recovery after life-changing surgery, and keeps her stoma and colostomy bag a secret, but is tryng to recapture the confidence of her teenage years with her best friend, Milly.
On a big night out, Milly is back to her hurtful ways. Disillusioned, Sophia gives Milly a choice: build a healthier friendship or it’s over. Milly leaves alone. Letting go of the past, Sophia allows new friend Amy to help with her split colostomy bag.
Who Would Design a Waste Disposal System through a Pleasure Park?
This extract from Act 2 follows on from Sophia and Amy entering the pub toilets to find Milly having sex with a guy, Amos (who Sophia dated and hoped to rekindle a flame with), in one of the cubicles.
AMY: Why did you lie? Milly.
MILLY: You’ve changed.
MILLY: Don’t be. It wasn’t a compliment.
AMY: Still took it as one.
MILLY: I take it back.
AMY: There are no takesies backsies.
MILLY: Don’t be a bitch.
AMY: Looked at yourself lately?
MILLY: I’m looking mighty fine.
SOPHIA: Can we leave it?
MILLY: Stay out of it Sophs. At least I know how to get some.
AMY: It’s not a badge of honour – shagging anything that moves.
MILLY: I’m in touch with my body. I know how to use it for pleasure
SOPHIA: Never thought /Amos would be one of them
AMY: /I don’t need to fuck everything I meet to love my body.
MILLY: We’ve all got the same basic needs. Even Sophs.
SOPHIA: (quietly) Hey! I have urges.
MILLY: You really need to sort out your attitude.
AMY: I’m not the problem.
SOPHIA: She’s just trying to help you. Like she helps me.
MILLY: Sort yourself out.
AMY: You find this stuff helpful?
SOPHIA: It helps me to grow…
MILLY: That’s right. I know how to be a good friend. Unlike you two.
SOPHIA: Bit mean. I try to help you too.
MILLY: I know you try but you miss the mark. Every time.
SOPHIA: At least I stay away from your guys…
AMY: You really are/ as slutty and as… as you have ever been.
MILLY: /Takes one to know one.
AMY: How many guys have you fucked this week?
MILLY: At least I don’t have to fuck myself.
AMY: Better than being a slut, letting anything enter…
MILLY: Fingers worn out?
AMY: Come here, my name is Milly, free to enter…
MILLY: bet you’ve practically sanded your clit away
AMY: multiple visits/ encouraged.
SOPHIA: /Can we stop talking about sex now?
AMY: Ever make it to a bed?
AMY: or is it only ever up against a filthy toilet wall…
MILLY: It’s healthy.
SOPHIA: so is masturbation… for… Urges
AMY: As long as she can drop her knickers she’s a goer. Mills is all about filth.
SOPHIA: You do love a bit of filth, Mills.
MILLY: You Judas, Sophs.
SOPHIA: Me? Judas? I’m just saying it as it is. Like you do.
MILLY: After all the times I’ve tried to help you
SOPHIA: I’m being honest about who you are. Come on, Mills. Sex, multiple partners, in public places. It’s all you.
MILLY: It’s healthy. Sex.
SOPHA: You are a self-proclaimed slut.
MILLY: I never use that word.
SOPHIA: You have. I’m sure /I’ve heard
MILLY: /You don’t go around telling people they are… That.
AMY: You’ve called people that.
MILLY: No. I’ve never used that—
AMY: I’ve heard you. Dawn…
MILLY: You know nothing
MILLY: I’m out of—
AMY: and Sophia.
MILLY: You’ve got no idea who I am.
AMY: I know /exactly who you are.
SOPHIA: /We’ve known each other for so long
MILLY: No idea.